MissMicaelan

I feel really content right now. I just spent time with one of my friends I havent seen in a really long time and I wish I could explain how amazing she is. I don’t hesitate at all when I say she is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. She is so intelligent and level headed and passionate and beautiful and funny and just amazing. I cant even begin to say how happy I am that I met her and have become close with her. I will do anything I can to keep her in my life. I have learnt so much from her and continue to, I learn more about myself and the person I want to be when I am around her. if everyone had someone like her in their life I honestly think this world would be a better place. I dont care if that is cheesy, its true. Brittney, I love you more then you will ever know!!

I’m freaking the fuck out, I have this over whelming feeling that if I go to sleep I will never wake up

“So I will pray to a God that isn’t there, to a world that doesn’t hear, to anyone who will listen, to keep me from becoming everything I promised myself that I would never be.”

I think its hard to ever really know yourself completly but I just know I dont even recognize myself anymore…I just feel like I am stuck in this nightmare that I cant wake up from and I dont know who to ask for help and I dont know if it is even fair to anyone to ask for help. Everything in my life has just been on a constant downward spiral since I was young and I dont know how to get back up.

I don’t care when people say, “it’s something everyone goes through” when you are struggling with a hard time. Reality is no one fucking gets it, no one can be inside your mind and hear everything that goes on, no one can feel how different thigs make you feel, everyone feels things different and are affected in different ways and I think it’s belittling to say to someone “it’s something everyone goes through” cause right now I don’t give a fuck, I just know this is something I will NEVER be able to explain to anyone and if one more person says that to me I’m going to flip..